First off I like the Staples Easy Button, and I wish LIFE came with one, cause this would be so much easier, so for whoever reads this, there is a female in my life (not dating) but I'm truly having a hard time with trusting that God will provide, and she is totally seeking out for God's will for this, which is super attractive... and I digress, but this is my prayer, for the situation and like last time I ask that you would pray for me as well, not that God blesses me with this beautiful woman, but that I trust Him, and stop doubting Him, and the situation. And further down I asked that whoever reads this if they feel at led they'll give me a call, and say I'm thinking about you, and give me someone to chat with, to help take my mind off of this. Thanks all for stopping bye...
Lord, I feel like these prayers are going to start sounding more and more selfish, Lord, and you know that my intentions are not too be. Lord give me PEACE, give me REST and RELAXATION, slow down my THOUGHTS of NEGATIVITY, and DOUBT. Lord just help me to TRUST YOU! Lord, you know the situation, on both sides, Lord, you have a plan for me, a wonderful and perfect plan for me, Lord help me to trust you with my life... No more trying to hold on, Lord, I'm surrendering everything, it all my life, my relationships with friends with a woman, surrendering my future, IT ALL!!! I ask that you take what's been on my mind and wrap it up in your love and grace, (along with me) but Lord, I'm tired of losing sleep, and thoughts of doubt, if you told me you got this... then why am I doubting what you can do!
Lord be with me these next few days, help the feelings of loneliness stay out of my life, Lord and I ask that you put me in the minds of my friends and they call me to just check in and see how I'm doing... Cause I'm struggling, and hurting, pretty tired, mentally and physically exhausted. Not going to bed till after 2, 3 or 4 for this past week has not been good to my body, and waking up days like today to go running at 8:30 doesn't allow for much sleep. Ah Lord! She is always on my mind, Lord help me to forget (forget me not's) and by forget, I don't mean about her, I just mean help me forget the doubting, forget the mistrust, forget ALL the negativity. Lord you got this, you got this, you got this, you got this, you got this, you got this, you got this... So help me to stop freaking out, and doubting what your going to do and say!!!
Lord , help me to continue on the path that you have placed me on, this wild adventure, this battle, Lord help me to push forward, Constantly Chasing After You! Lord, and if you want her to be apart of my journey with you, and my adventure as a man, well She is more than welcome, but it has to be your desire, and your will, not our own (her's or mine)! Lord, you know all of my heart's desires... I ask that you reveal them to me, in your time, and whomever you desire in my life! Its yours, I'M SURRENDERING THIS TO YOU! Let your will be down, just let no hurt or bitterness come out of your will, by me, help me to understand your will, and trust that you will provide... All smiles right now Lord, keep this peace, until a decision has been handed down, from you to her and me, Lord then we will know whether its what you want, or not! Oh Lord, please let this be what you want for me! (Selfish? I know, my bad)! You Got This, and I believe that....
Until Next Time, Its Just Me and My God! and God You Got Me and This!
Love your humbled, not worthy, child, and servant, Matthew.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Its Sure Been Awhile!
It has been a long time since I last blogged here (or anywhere for that matter), I have intended to try and find time to sit down and write, I even intended to do one on my birthday but just never got around to it. Well blogging has been my way of talking with my Heavenly Father, and if I haven't been getting around to it here, I sure haven't been talking with God! I will admit though, things have been going great in my life, I successfully turned 22, I'm passing all classes, I am even ahead of schedule with most homework and big papers. Yet similar to my last blogs there is still something missing in my life, I still haven't filled the void of feeling lonely in my life! I honestly hate the feeling, I try and cope with it but no luck, and when I'm lonely that's when Satan attacks. But the feeling of loneliness has started to shift, I have been blessed with some great friends, and they know my hurts, and sat down with me late one night and let me spill my guts to them. Someone has come into my life, quite unexpectedly (and too be honest, I never thought she would) and we have spent some time together not much, but enough to say that loneliness has subsided. Praise God! My blog today is not to speak of her, (even though I feel like I could talk about her for awhile), no its to talk about how amazing God is, and the power he has to conquer sin!
For all of you who read this, I fasted for a few weeks, (I got away from it, but I plan on returning) but during this fasting stage, I asked God (a similar request of Hart's) to make me the man of God you want me to be, to fill me with your Spirit that I may be desirable to a Godly woman, the woman who you want for me! Now this is where things started to get to me, I wanted so badly to never, ever, ever date another girl from ENC, ever again! Why? Because I did not want to have to worry about physical intimacy, the issue that has gotten me in trouble in the past. Well, a girl came into my life, by surprise (not the same one mentioned above) from the past, we hung a few times, and honestly had some fun times, but as I came to realize that we could never work out! There were a variety of different reasons, but I could honestly sense God saying you didn't want a girl from ENC here you go! But this situation was God telling me yeah there may be quality girls in the world, but you need a Christian girl and do not settle for less. Then another came along, (this one really had no intentions of pursuing any further than friends, still though not the girl mentioned above). This girl was from out of state, and definitely loves God, but still there was something missing. And I have asked her if we can talk no more than friends would, and she accepted.
Now the final girl, God does work in mysterious ways, this individual and myself had lost most communication throughout the past two semesters, (until recently, obviously!) and even though we hung out during new student orientation there seemed to be something that kept us from being friends. Maybe it was God's way of telling me, "Matthew, just take it slow, you've just broken up with someone, and you need to trust in me to fill that void of hurt and loneliness. Well for that last comment, I'm sure God said it, but did I listen, nope! I tried to fill the void, and it came back to bite me in the backside a few times. But back to the story... I was walking through the Mann Center, to check mail, consequently on a Tuesday (the day before I fast, but the day I have lunch with Hart), when a voice, which I hadn't heard since late August, said "Hey Matt Flagg, you should buy a ticket to the play!" Well for those of you who know me, I typically don't go to plays, and I wasn't intending on going, but as I thought of a quick response of "When will you be here next? I don't have five dollars yet!" She came up with a question that totally caught me off guard, "Hey, how come we're not best friends?" I quickly muttered the response of "HUH!" She then reminded me, that back in August, I made a comment to her, of how we were going to be best friends, by Spring Semester! Well that was a complete fairytale, how could you be friends never mind best friends with someone you don't even talk too? The guilt trip set in and that next Thursday I purchased a ticket to go see her in the play!
not my own, but YOURS!
"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD" Is the response I was hoping for! This is now in God's hands, Lord if this your desire for me, to trust in you, Lord help me by talking to me with a yes or no when I humble myself in prayer tonight and for the nights to come, until her and I have time after Spring Break to talk about it, since we have no means of talking over break, Lord help me to have a clear mind, and focus my heart and mind on you this week, do not let this situation give me an ounce of trouble or doubt. You are God, and I am Not! You Got this Lord! So I will appreciate any of you who read this to throw up some prayers when you pray, and keep me in them, not that her and I become a couple, but that I may Trust God in this situation, and that I will continue to grow into a spiritually mature man, that one day the woman who God wants me to be with will come my way, and will see God in my life, and see that as my most attractive feature. God you are so Great, and I long to follow after you, and desire to grow closer. Lord I ask that you be ever present in my life this next week, that I may not succumb to the loneliness, and that you will be there when I cry out for help!
Until next time, Lord its just me and you!!!
I love you Lord!
For all of you who read this, I fasted for a few weeks, (I got away from it, but I plan on returning) but during this fasting stage, I asked God (a similar request of Hart's) to make me the man of God you want me to be, to fill me with your Spirit that I may be desirable to a Godly woman, the woman who you want for me! Now this is where things started to get to me, I wanted so badly to never, ever, ever date another girl from ENC, ever again! Why? Because I did not want to have to worry about physical intimacy, the issue that has gotten me in trouble in the past. Well, a girl came into my life, by surprise (not the same one mentioned above) from the past, we hung a few times, and honestly had some fun times, but as I came to realize that we could never work out! There were a variety of different reasons, but I could honestly sense God saying you didn't want a girl from ENC here you go! But this situation was God telling me yeah there may be quality girls in the world, but you need a Christian girl and do not settle for less. Then another came along, (this one really had no intentions of pursuing any further than friends, still though not the girl mentioned above). This girl was from out of state, and definitely loves God, but still there was something missing. And I have asked her if we can talk no more than friends would, and she accepted.
Now the final girl, God does work in mysterious ways, this individual and myself had lost most communication throughout the past two semesters, (until recently, obviously!) and even though we hung out during new student orientation there seemed to be something that kept us from being friends. Maybe it was God's way of telling me, "Matthew, just take it slow, you've just broken up with someone, and you need to trust in me to fill that void of hurt and loneliness. Well for that last comment, I'm sure God said it, but did I listen, nope! I tried to fill the void, and it came back to bite me in the backside a few times. But back to the story... I was walking through the Mann Center, to check mail, consequently on a Tuesday (the day before I fast, but the day I have lunch with Hart), when a voice, which I hadn't heard since late August, said "Hey Matt Flagg, you should buy a ticket to the play!" Well for those of you who know me, I typically don't go to plays, and I wasn't intending on going, but as I thought of a quick response of "When will you be here next? I don't have five dollars yet!" She came up with a question that totally caught me off guard, "Hey, how come we're not best friends?" I quickly muttered the response of "HUH!" She then reminded me, that back in August, I made a comment to her, of how we were going to be best friends, by Spring Semester! Well that was a complete fairytale, how could you be friends never mind best friends with someone you don't even talk too? The guilt trip set in and that next Thursday I purchased a ticket to go see her in the play!
not my own, but YOURS!
"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD" Is the response I was hoping for! This is now in God's hands, Lord if this your desire for me, to trust in you, Lord help me by talking to me with a yes or no when I humble myself in prayer tonight and for the nights to come, until her and I have time after Spring Break to talk about it, since we have no means of talking over break, Lord help me to have a clear mind, and focus my heart and mind on you this week, do not let this situation give me an ounce of trouble or doubt. You are God, and I am Not! You Got this Lord! So I will appreciate any of you who read this to throw up some prayers when you pray, and keep me in them, not that her and I become a couple, but that I may Trust God in this situation, and that I will continue to grow into a spiritually mature man, that one day the woman who God wants me to be with will come my way, and will see God in my life, and see that as my most attractive feature. God you are so Great, and I long to follow after you, and desire to grow closer. Lord I ask that you be ever present in my life this next week, that I may not succumb to the loneliness, and that you will be there when I cry out for help!
Until next time, Lord its just me and you!!!
I love you Lord!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
A Simple Life
Isn't it amazing how a name can be so powerful, especially just the first part of it? The name Jesus has an amazing power behind it, it can do one thing after another, but most importantly it can save your life. Nothing else has the power to save, like the name of Jesus! We can be broken and miserable crying our eyes out in total misery, a depressed state, an all out sucky feeling, but we can do one thing that will fix the hurt, and the pain and sadness, cry out to Jesus! Yet we take this name for granted, and we don't even mean too, has it ever occurred to you that on each and every breath we say the name of God? Or is that something else we take for granted? Do we take breathing for granted too, that we actually miss what we're actually saying? Personally I have, I have missed on God's voice, or for that matter, His name in general. Is it that we actually breathe the name of God, or that the name of God is actually the sound of breathing? Let me explain, or for that matter Rob Bell will explain. In his NOOMA video Breathe, he talks about how the word breath is the same for the word Spirit.
We cannot only breathe out the name of God, we also need to breathe in Him. When we are born what do we first do? Take a breath, or say the name of God? Or when we die, do we take a breath, or say the name of God before our eyes shut for good on earth? Think of the simplest thing our lives, breathing! We breath everyday, all day, awake and asleep, and roughly say the name of God (YEHWAH) 8640 or so times a day alone. When a person is telling you there is no God, are they actually sounding out the pronunciation of Yehwah? Listen closely to Rob Bell, when he talks about that part (it gave me goosebumps).
I want to be simplistic in my relationship with my Lord, to say nothing, to just listen to my Master's call, and focus on Him alone. In my devotional today (one of them, Max Lucado, Out Live Your Life) I learned the God does not call the qualified, that He in facts calls on the unqualified. The quote was this "God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called. Even the Devil will try and deter us from this, saying that God only calls on the professionals, the smartest, the most qualified. Well guess what, we are, we all are! God has a mighty plan in store for all of us, whether its missions trips, going into medical missions, being a youth pastor in Texas, Massachusetts, or Virginia, or a police officer working with troubled youth, or just wanting to work with the youth. Whatever your plan is, God has called you to it. Stop ignoring it, stop trying to shape your own destiny, God has it all mapped out, just live it according to His will. How simpler could a life get just by living out an already set life, and breathing. Both ways will be serving my God and worshiping Him, some days without me even knowing what I am doing. I longer wish to take the simplest of things in life for granted, because that I am taking the name of God for granted, and all the power, and love that it bestows on me and all of you!
I have a passage of Scripture that I want to apply to this, James 4: 7-10 (The Message). "So let God work in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life.Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, real serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet."
This passage has honestly brought me to tears, every time I read it. It is my guilt scripture, when I am at my lowest points in life, I am reminded, God is there by whispering a quiet yes, or maybe even breathing out His name, J.E.S.U.S. Breathing in/out the name of God, and following an already planned out life, sounds pretty ideal to me!
Then I am consistently reminded of "Be still and know that I am God." Or the way my Pastor gave a paraphrase, which worked just as well (if not better) Shut Up, Stop your worrying, Stop not trusting me, I your God have you, I got you always!!! How reassuring is it that my God loves you so much, that He know matter your faults and failures He is always there. ALWAYS!!! We just need to be more simple, and try to be less of what we are not, extraordinary! Or for that matter be less qualified, and live to be qualified life in the Spirit, by obeying His call and plan for our lives, whether we're fishermen, youth pastors, convenient store clerks, UPS drivers, or out of work, furthering your education. We all have a calling to be something we are, instead we are trying to be more than what we actually should! Let's try to live our lives SIMPLE!
Until next time "It's just me and my God!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Prayer: A Simple Conversation with God!
Our Father, who art in Heaven..., Now I lay me down to sleep..., Bless all who can give, and those who cannot..., etc... I am tired of scripted prayer! Prayer with my Lord, should not be something you read out of a book, or are taught as a child. Prayer should be you and God, mano a mano (man to man), where you can be open, vulnerable, real and down to earth with God! I'm not bashing scripted prayers, we were taught them as a foundation, a way to get us started off in life. It is nice to have scripture for when you feel down, or joyful, basically all the Psalm(s).
I admit I struggle praying, I struggle to willingly pray, its not the first thing I do at the beginning of the day, its not the last thing I do at the end! Its not something I do before meals, or when I say, "yeah, I'll pray for you!" Well unfortunately, I don't! I struggle with staying focused in prayer, my mind wanders like CRAZY! I start off good, and then I'll start day dreaming, losing focus, and before you know it my mind is not even focused on praying!
Its not that I do not like praying, I just forget. How can I forget to talk, daily, with my Father, the one who actually wants to hear how my days going, who wants to know what's hurting me! Well, He already knows, I think He just wants to hear us, and have a simple conversation with us! Well I want to have a conversation with Him, I just wish it doesn't always seem like a want list, or to do list for God to finish.
For me praying the way I've learned seems to be more of a task or chore rather than a desire... I guess this blog is definitely the most exciting, and definitely does not contain that much thought, but its something I struggle with, something I need accountability with. Who would of thought you would need accountability to talk more, well I sure do!
I want my life to be a prayer to you, I want to do everything that You want me to do... Lead me wherever, take me down roads I don't want to go! Well how will He tell me if I don't take time out of my day to chit chat with my Savior! I do have one scripted prayer that stood out to me tonight, during church (which was a devotional about prayer) Psalm 63, was when David was in the Desert of Judah!
my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.
I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you; your right hand upholds me. Those who want to kill me will be destroyed; they will go down to the depths of the earth.
They will be given over to the sword and become food for jackals.
But the king will rejoice in God; all who swear by God will glory in him,
while the mouths of liars will be silenced.
I want my life to just be complete already, have my relationship with God be perfect, follow His will, trust in Him for everything! Oh, yeah and I want to marry the Love of my life, 2 dogs, have 3 kids, a white picked fence, a job I WILL enjoy, and no school loans to pay! Yet I have none of that, I am learning to be patient, I know these things will come in order! I will fall in Love first with God, He then will provide a wife, then two dogs come first for joy, then 3 children and then the white fence, the job will be enjoyed (I've always wanted to be a Father), and my loans will get paid off by the job I don't like!
It starts with me! I need to get my life straight, my priorities need to be in check! God comes FIRST and foremost!
ITS JUST ME AND MY GOD!!!
I admit I struggle praying, I struggle to willingly pray, its not the first thing I do at the beginning of the day, its not the last thing I do at the end! Its not something I do before meals, or when I say, "yeah, I'll pray for you!" Well unfortunately, I don't! I struggle with staying focused in prayer, my mind wanders like CRAZY! I start off good, and then I'll start day dreaming, losing focus, and before you know it my mind is not even focused on praying!
Its not that I do not like praying, I just forget. How can I forget to talk, daily, with my Father, the one who actually wants to hear how my days going, who wants to know what's hurting me! Well, He already knows, I think He just wants to hear us, and have a simple conversation with us! Well I want to have a conversation with Him, I just wish it doesn't always seem like a want list, or to do list for God to finish.
For me praying the way I've learned seems to be more of a task or chore rather than a desire... I guess this blog is definitely the most exciting, and definitely does not contain that much thought, but its something I struggle with, something I need accountability with. Who would of thought you would need accountability to talk more, well I sure do!
You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you,
my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.
I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you; your right hand upholds me. Those who want to kill me will be destroyed; they will go down to the depths of the earth.
They will be given over to the sword and become food for jackals.
But the king will rejoice in God; all who swear by God will glory in him,
while the mouths of liars will be silenced.
I want my life to just be complete already, have my relationship with God be perfect, follow His will, trust in Him for everything! Oh, yeah and I want to marry the Love of my life, 2 dogs, have 3 kids, a white picked fence, a job I WILL enjoy, and no school loans to pay! Yet I have none of that, I am learning to be patient, I know these things will come in order! I will fall in Love first with God, He then will provide a wife, then two dogs come first for joy, then 3 children and then the white fence, the job will be enjoyed (I've always wanted to be a Father), and my loans will get paid off by the job I don't like!
It starts with me! I need to get my life straight, my priorities need to be in check! God comes FIRST and foremost!
ITS JUST ME AND MY GOD!!!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Let Go and Be Held!'
So yesterday in my post I realized I said something that was supposed to be for today's but it fit appropriately and I just decided to leave it rather than edit it. My post today is about forgiveness, if it is so easy for God to forgive us, why is it so hard to forgive ourselves? Why is it that when we sin and ask for forgiveness, we always end up down the road reliving that same sin? Why do we beat ourselves up when God is in the process of restoration in our lives? Why can't we be more like God and forgive and forget? We have to consistently beat ourselves down, to a point of near depression or full blown for that matter! If God someone who hates sin, can forgive us of our sins, then why can't we forgive us? We know were not perfect, we know were nothing more than screw ups! So why do we continue to worry? Why can't we just surrender all to God? I know for me I've tried to kick habits, yet I am still susceptible to sin and its mind games!
I thought about this song today by Natalie Grant, called "HELD." This song no matter my mood, make me silent in the Spirit, vulnerable to the power of His Mercy, and healing!
For me its hard to show emotion, (clearly if you were here you would think I was full of it) I do not like to let emotions play with me! I like to think level headed, I don't like to let emotions influence a decision. But this song makes me realize that I just want to be Held! I don't care by whom, I want to be Held and cry, rather than hold and wipe the tears streaming down the face of a friend or family member. Whoever said its good to cry, was absolutely right! and whoever said real men do not cry, well they're missing out on some powerful stress relief.
I want to discuss some parts of the song lyrics wise, I believe this song has meaning to it, I believe Natalie wrote this for some other reason (I'm not positive for why she wrote this, but I thought it had something to do with children in the sex slave trade). "Who told us we'd be rescued? What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares? We're asking why this happens to us? Who have died to live, its unfair!" Talk about powerful, Our God, hold us through all of this hurt, THROUGH IT ALL! Our nightmares, may all be different, some are with us daily, and know how to attack us at our weakest (hence my struggle with pornography)! Some become repressed and only resurface to really rock and test your faith! God though has the uncanny ability to know what you need, and at the last possible second. When you're at your breaking point, your wits end God is there to Hold you!
"This is what it is to be Loved and to know, that the promise was that when everything fell, WE'D BE HELD." Well that's absolutely the most reassuring and comforting chorus, of how much God Loves us! When we have fallen, cannot seem to move on, that's when God is there, coming to save the day, and you! Listening to this song, has made me feel comfort, I have cried my eyes out while writing this, and I have felt peace, a Father holding His Son! Something I have NEVER felt, EVER! My dad, is a step above dead beat when it comes to caring for his son! I can't begin to express my how much my heart aches for lack of a daddy! My dad came around the most when I had something good going for me, never for a father-son talk, those talks happened, ha ha but consisted of bashing on the BEST woman in my life, my mother! (This is not intended to bash on Bobby Flagg, but it is to show how important MY FATHER (being God) means to me!) My God is not there for the good times, He's there for the bad, the hurt, the depression, the desperation the utter chaos! He's always there, holding me close, even though sometimes I feel Him distant, He is never two steps behind. How could I turn my back on a Companion, a DAD that is always, (too bad God couldn't play catch and teach me certain life lessons that I missed out on).
God is enough for my life! He should be all I'm looking for except there happens to be a song that so clearly depicts what I'm feeling. By Your Side, Tenth Avenue North! God's basically telling me WHY Matt? Do you not trust me? Frankly Lord, its hard, but I really want too! "Why are you striving these days? Why are you trying to earn grace? Why are you crying? Let Me lift up your face, just don't turn away! Why are you looking for LOVE? Why are still searching as if I'm not enough? To where will you go child? Tell me, where will you run? To where will you run? And I'll be by your side whenever you FALL (which happens quite often) In the dead of night. Whenever you call, and please don't fight these hands that are HOLDING you, my hands are HOLDING you!".......
I thought about this song today by Natalie Grant, called "HELD." This song no matter my mood, make me silent in the Spirit, vulnerable to the power of His Mercy, and healing!
For me its hard to show emotion, (clearly if you were here you would think I was full of it) I do not like to let emotions play with me! I like to think level headed, I don't like to let emotions influence a decision. But this song makes me realize that I just want to be Held! I don't care by whom, I want to be Held and cry, rather than hold and wipe the tears streaming down the face of a friend or family member. Whoever said its good to cry, was absolutely right! and whoever said real men do not cry, well they're missing out on some powerful stress relief.
I want to discuss some parts of the song lyrics wise, I believe this song has meaning to it, I believe Natalie wrote this for some other reason (I'm not positive for why she wrote this, but I thought it had something to do with children in the sex slave trade). "Who told us we'd be rescued? What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares? We're asking why this happens to us? Who have died to live, its unfair!" Talk about powerful, Our God, hold us through all of this hurt, THROUGH IT ALL! Our nightmares, may all be different, some are with us daily, and know how to attack us at our weakest (hence my struggle with pornography)! Some become repressed and only resurface to really rock and test your faith! God though has the uncanny ability to know what you need, and at the last possible second. When you're at your breaking point, your wits end God is there to Hold you!
"This is what it is to be Loved and to know, that the promise was that when everything fell, WE'D BE HELD." Well that's absolutely the most reassuring and comforting chorus, of how much God Loves us! When we have fallen, cannot seem to move on, that's when God is there, coming to save the day, and you! Listening to this song, has made me feel comfort, I have cried my eyes out while writing this, and I have felt peace, a Father holding His Son! Something I have NEVER felt, EVER! My dad, is a step above dead beat when it comes to caring for his son! I can't begin to express my how much my heart aches for lack of a daddy! My dad came around the most when I had something good going for me, never for a father-son talk, those talks happened, ha ha but consisted of bashing on the BEST woman in my life, my mother! (This is not intended to bash on Bobby Flagg, but it is to show how important MY FATHER (being God) means to me!) My God is not there for the good times, He's there for the bad, the hurt, the depression, the desperation the utter chaos! He's always there, holding me close, even though sometimes I feel Him distant, He is never two steps behind. How could I turn my back on a Companion, a DAD that is always, (too bad God couldn't play catch and teach me certain life lessons that I missed out on).
God is enough for my life! He should be all I'm looking for except there happens to be a song that so clearly depicts what I'm feeling. By Your Side, Tenth Avenue North! God's basically telling me WHY Matt? Do you not trust me? Frankly Lord, its hard, but I really want too! "Why are you striving these days? Why are you trying to earn grace? Why are you crying? Let Me lift up your face, just don't turn away! Why are you looking for LOVE? Why are still searching as if I'm not enough? To where will you go child? Tell me, where will you run? To where will you run? And I'll be by your side whenever you FALL (which happens quite often) In the dead of night. Whenever you call, and please don't fight these hands that are HOLDING you, my hands are HOLDING you!".......
Like His nail pierced hands haven't already done enough, He has to Hold me too!
Well I'm gracious for the Love my Lord has shown me! Now I feel like I'm tired and I don't deserve Him, but He reminds me daily, probably every second if I listened.. BE STILL AND KNOW I AM GOD!!!
I still am reminded of another song! Toby Mac and Kirk Franklin, I Am God, the song is deep I am almost want to put all the lyrics up, but I will be careful in selecting the one's that speak the loudest!
"I think I'm gonna walk away, you're messing up my life today. This time I refuse to pray, STILL you keep calling me! I don't wanna see your face, the thing I love you erased, nothing but an empty space. Now I don't I know how to be, I know it wasn't right for me. What you liking, what you need, I feel like I'm in SURGERY, still you CUT DEEPER! My secrets within, my blanket of sin! Lord, How much longer 'till ya through with me, PLEASE take what you need, (CAN I GET UP NOW!)." Well how often are we fed up with God's insane plans for us? Basically every minute I question Him, (hence the reason He reminds me of BE STILL AND KNOW I AM GOD). "Lord, you was not me, everything you don't explain, somethings (most things) I don't want to change. So you keep BREAKING ME! It's like I'm fighting for my life, you hit me with another right." Well Toby Mac was lucky, cause sometimes I wish God would HIT me with a BIG ole hay maker!
But doesn't the Lord always seem to win, it's like He has a countless number of cheats and your playing for the first time (no matter how many times you've played the game). God knows your next move, before you do! Well here it is then, YOU WIN, I'm tired of trying to do it all on my own, and I need to SURRENDER my ALL to you. You know what's best for me, and I clearly DON'T!
JUST HOLD ME, please!!!
Until next time God, ITS JUST ME AND YOU!!! Love you, use me to your will!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Setting Captives Free!
Good Evening! I am just tired of feeling captive to an evil, the constant feel of bondage, heavy chains just weighing me down! I have been at the mercy of this suffering for far too long, and I cannot take it! Todays little ramble could have, should have been my post for Sunday, yet God works in different ways, and granted me the courage to open up to my friends and whoever else read this! Well once again I had a shower moment, with my iHome and the song that came on was "Set Me Free" by Casting Crowns. Saying this song is fabulous is an understatement, and there is one part in the song that gives me goosebumps, and allows me to be Vulnerable to the Holy Spirit! The part asks "Do You Wanna Be Free?"
Well I know I could give a simple answer... YES!
Yet the solution is so simple, as the God man passes by, He looks straight through my eyes, the darkness cannot hide! Do YOU want to be free? Lift your chains I hold the key. All power of Heaven and Earth belong to Me! Well that is simple, Jesus asks us if we want to be FREE! Well who doesn't? Well, thats that reason for today's little blog! Why is it so easy to be released from bondage, but so hard for me (us) to say; Yes! I want to be FREE! I do not know the answer to this for you all, but for me, the answer is I'm afraid to surrender, I'm in a comfort zone. Even though I'm tormented in this comfy state, I still resort back to what I know, which is unfortunately the evil that has me in chains to begin with.
The only thing that gives me hope and promise for release is the Love, Grace and Mercy of my Lord, Jesus Christ! "But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in MERCY, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions-it is by GRACE you have been saved! Ephesians 2:4-5. Yet that is not all our Lord has to say to comfort us, in John chapter 8, Jesus, said to a woman who was engulfed in sin and was blunt with His words! "Go NOW and leave your life of Sin!" Let's just say Jesus had a remarkable way for getting straight to the point with most things, and even when He used parables, they reached those they needed too, the ignorant were left laughing, the humbled where left...well humbled!
For me I know that the darkness in my life is easy to hide in, you can become so devoured by the darkness that you do not even realize you in it! Yet be encouraged Matt, Psalm 139:11-12, (my paraphrase) God, there is no such thing as darkness in your presence, the darkest of night, becomes the brightest of day when you are near! What also is assuring (which was also in the song) was "Jesus said to them, all authority in Heaven and on Earth has been given to Me!" Matthew 28:18.
I know that God has the ability to rescue and set me FREE!!! He sets me free daily, whenever I call out to Him, He lifts the chains off and delivers me from the darkness! Yet daily I go back to the chains, I am persuaded to go back into a life of sin, because for me its a way to cope with loneliness, depression, hurt, boredom, basically anything that God has tried to relieve me of, and me resorting back to it!
Well I need to stop! I need to retire, and stay retired! No more Brett Farve "ing" life, my pastor on Sunday gave a great message, and said one thing that really stuck out and has stuck with me... "We live in a world of INCONSISTENCIES, yet we as Christians need to live a CONSISTENT life!" Well how true is that? How many times does society fail us? and how many times does God fail us? The spectrum the quite lopsided in favor the one Who set the captives FREE! I also learned that when we fail, and ask God for forgiveness, He immediately forgives, but we tend to keep reminding ourselves of that sin! Why you ask? Because we have yet to forgive ourselves!!! You (me) have to forgive ourselves in order to be set FREE!
I know my Lord, is the same yesterday, today and forever, if He saved and rescued then He does the same today! My God has promised us many things, including that He will be with us, forever, but He encourages us by sending His Son Jesus to die for our sins, for all of our imperfections which are HIGH and MIGHTY! My God still Loves me, still cares for me enough to want me, to hold me, to break the chains of sin away! In conclusion I have three pretty powerful verses that God allowed me to find the first being Ephesians 6:10 "Finally, be STRONG in the Lord!" The next verse being Romans 6:18, is good too, "You have been set FREE from sin and have become slaves to one thing, RIGHTEOUSNESS!" Finally this verse is from John 8:36, but for all the people that remember Steven Curtis Chapman this was the bridge in one of his which I will use to concluded this blog! "So, if the Son sets you FREE, you WILL be FREE indeed!"
Well I know I could give a simple answer... YES!
Yet the solution is so simple, as the God man passes by, He looks straight through my eyes, the darkness cannot hide! Do YOU want to be free? Lift your chains I hold the key. All power of Heaven and Earth belong to Me! Well that is simple, Jesus asks us if we want to be FREE! Well who doesn't? Well, thats that reason for today's little blog! Why is it so easy to be released from bondage, but so hard for me (us) to say; Yes! I want to be FREE! I do not know the answer to this for you all, but for me, the answer is I'm afraid to surrender, I'm in a comfort zone. Even though I'm tormented in this comfy state, I still resort back to what I know, which is unfortunately the evil that has me in chains to begin with.
The only thing that gives me hope and promise for release is the Love, Grace and Mercy of my Lord, Jesus Christ! "But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in MERCY, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions-it is by GRACE you have been saved! Ephesians 2:4-5. Yet that is not all our Lord has to say to comfort us, in John chapter 8, Jesus, said to a woman who was engulfed in sin and was blunt with His words! "Go NOW and leave your life of Sin!" Let's just say Jesus had a remarkable way for getting straight to the point with most things, and even when He used parables, they reached those they needed too, the ignorant were left laughing, the humbled where left...well humbled!
For me I know that the darkness in my life is easy to hide in, you can become so devoured by the darkness that you do not even realize you in it! Yet be encouraged Matt, Psalm 139:11-12, (my paraphrase) God, there is no such thing as darkness in your presence, the darkest of night, becomes the brightest of day when you are near! What also is assuring (which was also in the song) was "Jesus said to them, all authority in Heaven and on Earth has been given to Me!" Matthew 28:18.
I know that God has the ability to rescue and set me FREE!!! He sets me free daily, whenever I call out to Him, He lifts the chains off and delivers me from the darkness! Yet daily I go back to the chains, I am persuaded to go back into a life of sin, because for me its a way to cope with loneliness, depression, hurt, boredom, basically anything that God has tried to relieve me of, and me resorting back to it!
Well I need to stop! I need to retire, and stay retired! No more Brett Farve "ing" life, my pastor on Sunday gave a great message, and said one thing that really stuck out and has stuck with me... "We live in a world of INCONSISTENCIES, yet we as Christians need to live a CONSISTENT life!" Well how true is that? How many times does society fail us? and how many times does God fail us? The spectrum the quite lopsided in favor the one Who set the captives FREE! I also learned that when we fail, and ask God for forgiveness, He immediately forgives, but we tend to keep reminding ourselves of that sin! Why you ask? Because we have yet to forgive ourselves!!! You (me) have to forgive ourselves in order to be set FREE!
I know my Lord, is the same yesterday, today and forever, if He saved and rescued then He does the same today! My God has promised us many things, including that He will be with us, forever, but He encourages us by sending His Son Jesus to die for our sins, for all of our imperfections which are HIGH and MIGHTY! My God still Loves me, still cares for me enough to want me, to hold me, to break the chains of sin away! In conclusion I have three pretty powerful verses that God allowed me to find the first being Ephesians 6:10 "Finally, be STRONG in the Lord!" The next verse being Romans 6:18, is good too, "You have been set FREE from sin and have become slaves to one thing, RIGHTEOUSNESS!" Finally this verse is from John 8:36, but for all the people that remember Steven Curtis Chapman this was the bridge in one of his which I will use to concluded this blog! "So, if the Son sets you FREE, you WILL be FREE indeed!"
So with me cast down your chains, drop the bondage they have on your life, give God the chance to set you free, and keep you free! Like me do not fall back and keep needing God for bail, He will not get tired of it cause He loves us! But we need to live consistent in our world full of inconsistencies!
Love you Lord!
God's grace has broken every chain... WE'RE FREE!!!!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
What is it about being vulnerable that scares me?
Vulnerable is being capable of physical or emotional wounds or attacks! Even though the Bible never really tells us to be "vulnerable" it tells us everywhere that we are Children of God! Well what are children? Vulnerable, they lack the basic understanding of how to protect themselves when placed in situations where adults (most of them) know what to do! Yet we all have a Heavenly father who protects us, when we are most vulnerable. Like a typical father, God knows that He is the Man, that needs to protect His family, His children is all that He has, and when evil tries to conquer and devour us, He triumphs! Like our biological fathers, God will fight for whom He Loves, which is US!
(What is really lousy for me know is I have no help from outside sources on this topic, this is all me). This thought today has to do a lot with trusting, similar to my recent post from yesterday!
We are also called sheep! What are sheep? Vulnerable, always open to attack from predators
(wolves, lions, bears). Jesus is called a Shepard, who,protects His sheep, leads them and herds them all over the countryside, while the are vulnerable to attack!
It seems clearly evident that our Father has to do a lot of protecting of His children, and our Shepard has to do a lot of herding to get his sheep back together! Well what is one thing that sheep and children have in common, beside the smell? They are both trusting, living things that put a lot of trust in the one they know will protect them!
Well, why then is it so hard for us to put our Trust in God? I mean, we all know He is our knight in shining armor, and that He is clutch, and He is ALWAYS there for us, especially in our most vulnerable states. Well, I think we need to address what our most vulnerable states are: could it be; Alcohol, Drugs, Cigarettes, or Sex, Pornography, for that matter WOMEN in general or Men, could it be an Eating Disorder, Family Issues, Broken Relationships? All of these things threaten our lives, they attack our Innocence, our Emotions, our Physical, Mental and Spiritual bodies, and cause some serious damage to our relationship with Him! Guess what? Our God is Greater than any of these!
What this world needs
Is a Savior who will rescue,
A Spirit who will lead,
A Father who will love them in their time of need.
A Savior who will rescue,
A Spirit who will lead,
A Father who will love,
That's what this world needs.
Jesus is our Savior,
That's what this world needs
Father's arms around you,
That's what this world needs
That's what this world needs
(What is really lousy for me know is I have no help from outside sources on this topic, this is all me). This thought today has to do a lot with trusting, similar to my recent post from yesterday!
We are also called sheep! What are sheep? Vulnerable, always open to attack from predators
(wolves, lions, bears). Jesus is called a Shepard, who,protects His sheep, leads them and herds them all over the countryside, while the are vulnerable to attack!
It seems clearly evident that our Father has to do a lot of protecting of His children, and our Shepard has to do a lot of herding to get his sheep back together! Well what is one thing that sheep and children have in common, beside the smell? They are both trusting, living things that put a lot of trust in the one they know will protect them!
Well, why then is it so hard for us to put our Trust in God? I mean, we all know He is our knight in shining armor, and that He is clutch, and He is ALWAYS there for us, especially in our most vulnerable states. Well, I think we need to address what our most vulnerable states are: could it be; Alcohol, Drugs, Cigarettes, or Sex, Pornography, for that matter WOMEN in general or Men, could it be an Eating Disorder, Family Issues, Broken Relationships? All of these things threaten our lives, they attack our Innocence, our Emotions, our Physical, Mental and Spiritual bodies, and cause some serious damage to our relationship with Him! Guess what? Our God is Greater than any of these!
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
As I was thinking tonight what to write about I had a dear heart-to-heart with my probably my newest Friend, and closest friend that is of the opposite sex! While talking to her, she made me realize that Life is so much easier when you have friends/family that can relate to you and how true it is! We need to understand that we don't go through life alone. Yes, we may be more susceptible to things with God, rather than things from our earthly friends or family, but I know that family and friends fade with time. Yes, you'll always have family, and (hopefully) you'll always have companions and friends. Yet in time, and years pass we change, things change but Our God doesn't. He is the same YESTERDAY, TODAY and FOREVER!
This verse in scripture should be the most comforting passage EVER:
"I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU," so that we confidently say, "THE LORD IS MY HELPER, I WILL NOT BE AFRAID. WHAT WILL MAN DO TO ME?" Hebrews 13:5-6
I know that it has already comforted me, tonight! I know that my God will Never, not be by my side! He will be with me forever! I said it, FOREVER! Remind yourself of that! I love the ending, I could picture who said this laughing, "What can man do to me?" The answer... NOTHING! Because if our God is for us than who can stand against us! (Ah I got goosebumps)!
Life for me has been full of hurt, I never had a father who set out to protect me! His version of protection was 400 dollars every two weeks, and graciously placing me on his insurance! Well as much as I hated the fact that I had an absence of a positive male role model, it has taught me so much in life! The way my father is, is a way I don't want to live, not because he is a bad guy! But because I want to be someone who is there for their son, someone who knows the Lord! Someone who as they get older puts all of his TRUST in God, my only Father!
For me the lack of a Christian father, or lack of father in general, made life so hard on me! Not knowing the answers to certain things, especially through bodily changes, and new sexual desires arose! How could a 13 year old boy talk to His mom about an addiction to pornography, (that still lingers in the shadows 8 years later) or talk to his mom when questions of sexual desires were now found in women! Well, since then I have never found anyone to talk to about these issues, about my skeletons, about the man I really was! Well the person that I needed to talk to the MOST was there all along, and no it wasn't my mother. It was God! He could have answered my questions, He could have removed addictions. He could have made my Freshman and Sophomore years in college actually worthwhile! But No! I thought I could handle my addictions on my own, trying to defeat the demons of certain things were easier than the others I was fighting! A demon that got its foot in the door even before 13 was one of sexual preference (wow I can't believe I'm sharing this), I struggled with all sorts of feelings, was I attracted to males or females? Well fortunately for myself those feelings left faster than they came when I got my first girlfriend in 5th grade (correct me if I'm wrong Tam).
Well I then knew for a fact that I was into girls when I got to college, when I felt that I could get with any girl I wanted too. Not caring about their feelings, only that my desires/urges were met! Sexually satisfied, absolutely! Everything else was empty, lack of emotion and feeling! Well freshman year, it took an important friend, who I lost contact with (recently as of this year, got back to talking, I blame SGA)! to smack me upside the head, and make me realize what I was doing! (Thanks Meg)!
Then Sophomore year, oh sophomore year! Nothing good came out of that year, except for I had relations with girls in moderation! Once again a smack upside the head was in due, except it came in a different form, it came in the form of Spring Revival! Ah, revival, everyone gets that 2 week high of God, they can move mountains, they think they can save the world! Well wrong, I came to revival absolutely broken! and left broken! But I was broken in a good way, I was broken but in the road to healing!
Junior year came, and this being weeks after I got back from Summer Min, I fell right back into a temptation twice before the second week of school! Well by this point I knew something had to change, I wasn't that same guy, that chose women to deal with hurt! I was a new man, founded in something more powerful than the sensation of any orgasm or quickee! I was founded in Christ, I then had a great woman come into my life, Jenna! Jenna was perfect, there was and still is nothing wrong with that girl. She saved me from a destructive path, she showed me Grace multiple times.
Senior year comes knocking on the door! and so does something else a break up, that took me by storm, and utter surprise! Things that were going good I thought, actually were not so hot! That good Christian guy I was becoming started to leave, once more I resorted to females to fix my hurt! Well that lasted only a short time! I knew that I could not, not, not let myself get caught up in sex, women anymore! It Needed to End, and End NOW!
Now this is where I am, still broken, still hurting, but TRUSTING in my God, to take it all away! I'm learning to be VULNERABLE to His Spirit, to allow it to work In and Through me! To not Lean on My Own Understanding! But Trust in Him for He will make crooked paths straight! For me my vulnerability comes in my childlike faith, I am vulnerable to the world, and all its hurtful, sinful nature, but my Lord is there to protect me, to guide me and direct my life in and down paths of His choice. That was my New Years resolution to TRUST Him, lets do this together... Lets Trust!
God thank for giving me the courage and strength to write this (now just give me the courage to publish it!) For all those that read this please know that Our God can do anything, He can heal diseases, cure the blind and deaf, make cripples walk, feed thousands with little, and most importantly take away Demons that try to ruin our lives, by deceit and temptation. I will not lie or cover up the truth, I am and I am sure will struggle with pornography, but I know that by the Grace of God, that He can cure this disease, this addiction! He has GREAT plans for you and I'm excited to hear or if I'm fortunate enough to see them! I know He has plans for me, Great plans! But I have to let Him work, not try and work for Him, which reminds me of a song "What This World Needs" by Casting Crowns. Take note to what the VULNERABLE CHILDREN have to say!
What this world needs
Is not another one hit wonder with an axe to grind,
Another two bit politician peddlin` lies,
Another three ring circus society.
What this world needs
Is not another sign wavin` super saint that's better than you,
Another ear pleasin` candy man afraid of the truth,
Another prophet in an Armani suit.
What this world needs
Is a Savior who will rescue,
A Spirit who will lead,
A Father who will love them in their time of need.
A Savior who will rescue,
A Spirit who will lead,
A Father who will love,
That's what this world needs.
What this world needs
Is for us to care more about the inside than the outside.
Have we become so blind that we can't see?
God's gotta change her heart before He changes her shirt.
What this world needs
Is for us to stop hiding behind our relevance.
Blendin` in so well that people can't see the difference
And it's the difference that sets the world free.
(Spoken)
People aren't confused by the gospel,
They're confused by us.
Jesus is the only way to God,
But we are not the only way to Jesus.
This world doesn't need
My tie, my hoodie,
My denomination, or my translation of the Bible,
They just need Jesus.
We can be passionate about what we believe,
But we can't strap ourselves to the gospels.
Because we're slowing it down
Jesus is going to save the world,
But maybe the best thing we can do
Is just get out of the way.
Is not another one hit wonder with an axe to grind,
Another two bit politician peddlin` lies,
Another three ring circus society.
What this world needs
Is not another sign wavin` super saint that's better than you,
Another ear pleasin` candy man afraid of the truth,
Another prophet in an Armani suit.
What this world needs
Is a Savior who will rescue,
A Spirit who will lead,
A Father who will love them in their time of need.
A Savior who will rescue,
A Spirit who will lead,
A Father who will love,
That's what this world needs.
What this world needs
Is for us to care more about the inside than the outside.
Have we become so blind that we can't see?
God's gotta change her heart before He changes her shirt.
What this world needs
Is for us to stop hiding behind our relevance.
Blendin` in so well that people can't see the difference
And it's the difference that sets the world free.
(Spoken)
People aren't confused by the gospel,
They're confused by us.
Jesus is the only way to God,
But we are not the only way to Jesus.
This world doesn't need
My tie, my hoodie,
My denomination, or my translation of the Bible,
They just need Jesus.
We can be passionate about what we believe,
But we can't strap ourselves to the gospels.
Because we're slowing it down
Jesus is going to save the world,
But maybe the best thing we can do
Is just get out of the way.
What this world needs
Is a Savior who will rescue,
A Spirit who will lead,
A Father who will love them in their time of need.
A Savior who will rescue,
A Spirit who will lead,
A Father who will love,
That's what this world needs.
Jesus is our Savior,
That's what this world needs
Father's arms around you,
That's what this world needs
That's what this world needs
OK sorry for the length but I really wanted to be Open, Vulnerable and Sheepish for you all! Please feel free to leave comments even those people who read I don't know! I'd really appreciate your encouragement, love and support!
Thank You and until next time Its JUST ME AND MY GOD!!!
Trusting In Him, Don't DO It Alone!!!
Typical resolutions for the New Year consist of the following to:
1. Stop Smoking
2. Get into a Habit of being Fit
3. Lose Weight
2. Get into a Habit of being Fit
3. Lose Weight
4. Enjoy Life More.
5. Quit Drinking
6. Organize Yourself
7. Learn Something New
8. Get out of Debt
9. Spend More Time With Family
5. Quit Drinking
6. Organize Yourself
7. Learn Something New
8. Get out of Debt
9. Spend More Time With Family
10. Help People.
Well fortunately I do not smoke, I'm not overweight, I do enjoy life, I don't drink, I'm pretty organized, I learn something new daily (thank you dictionary.com), the only debt I have will come roughly six months after May 2011, I spend time with my family all the time and I Love to help people (sometimes having a hard time saying no!)
Well my only resolution for this year is to TRUST in God, not just for big decisions, not just the little things, but for everything! This resolution has already hit its bumpy road and I am going to make the assumption that Trusting in God is a continuous bumpy road, which my resolution the all more challenging! Yet there are constant reminders daily that remind me daily of much I really need my God! I have spent the majority of my Christmas break alone, in my home, with no one to hang out with and too boost my "depressed" state. Well, I thought I was alone, I should have known better that God was with me, and He was the one I needed to rely on, to comfort me, the one I should have spent time with!
I don't know what makes me (or you, for that matter) realize what we had was always there, it never left, even when we feel at our lowest, feel hopelessly alone, like we're the only one hurting! Well imagine this, we have a God that cares for us so much, that when we hurt, He hurts, when our heart breaks, so does His! This reminds me of my "all-time favorite" poem, "Footprints" ... This poem should be a constant reminder that when you feel alone, desperate, depressed, heartbroken and hurt that your doing this alone. Your God is carrying you, feeling your pain, each and every step!
My goal for 2011, is to avoiding being stubborn, not try to solve problems by myself, not go out and look for Love, when things go bad/or right to thank my Lord! I want to put all of my Trust in Him! Whether I do this by learning to be patient, learn to fall in Love with God first, all I know is that I want to Trust God with my life, cause I know that I cannot Trust myself with it!
Just know that your Lord Loves you and whatever your hurt my be, He is going to take care of all your needs good and bad! My goal/resolution should not be for me alone, this should be for all Christians worldwide, because there is a song that clears this up pretty well:
I'm trading my sorrows
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord
I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord
Yes Lord, Yes Lord, yes yes Lord
Yes, Lord, Yes Lord, yes yes Lord Amen!
I am pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned struck down but not destroyed I am pressed beyond the curse his promise we'll endure his joy going to be my strength
though the sorrow may last for the night but joy comes with the morning
There is a part of this song that I couldn't find, probably because it is a spoken part, but Israel Houghton says: "Joy comes in the morning, morning is not necessarily what has an A.M. next to it, morning happens when you Wake Up!" I want to add my own part to this as well, Morning has an alternate spelling MOURNING! I believe some of our Best Joy comes when we are crying, alone, sad, depressed... and realize that we are not alone, that the Lord is with us! So Trade it all, cause even though you may not have the JOY! Your Lord has plenty to go around!!!
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and He will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:5-6
Once and for always its JUST ME AND MY GOD!!!
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