What is it about being vulnerable that scares me?

Vulnerable is being capable of physical or emotional wounds or attacks! Even though the Bible never really tells us to be "vulnerable" it tells us everywhere that we are Children of God! Well what are children? Vulnerable, they lack the basic understanding of how to protect themselves when placed in situations where adults (most of them) know what to do! Yet we all have a Heavenly father who protects us, when we are most vulnerable. Like a typical father, God knows that He is the Man, that needs to protect His family, His children is all that He has, and when evil tries to conquer and devour us, He triumphs! Like our biological fathers, God will fight for whom He Loves,  which is US!


(What is really lousy for me know is I have no help from outside sources on this topic, this is all me). This thought today has to do a lot with trusting, similar to my recent post from yesterday!


We are also called sheep! What are sheep? Vulnerable, always open to attack from predators 
(wolves, lions, bears). Jesus is called a Shepard, who,protects His sheep, leads them and herds them all over the countryside, while the are vulnerable to attack! 


It seems clearly evident that our Father has to do a lot of protecting of His children, and our Shepard has to do a lot of herding to get his sheep back together! Well what is one thing that sheep and children have in common, beside the smell? They are both trusting, living things that put a lot of trust in the one they know will protect them!


Well, why then is it so hard for us to put our Trust in God? I mean, we all know He is our knight in shining armor, and that He is clutch, and He is ALWAYS there for us, especially in our most vulnerable states. Well, I think we need to address what our most vulnerable states are: could it be; Alcohol, Drugs, Cigarettes, or Sex, Pornography, for that matter WOMEN in general or Men, could it be an Eating Disorder, Family Issues, Broken Relationships? All of these things threaten our lives, they attack our Innocence, our Emotions, our Physical, Mental and Spiritual bodies, and cause some serious damage to our relationship with Him! Guess what? Our God is Greater than any of these! 

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us

And if our God is with us, then what can stand against? 

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us

And if our God is with us, then what can stand against? 

What can stand against?

Our God is greater, our God is stronger

God You are higher than any other

Our God is Healer, awesome in power

As I was thinking tonight what to write about I had a dear heart-to-heart with my probably my newest Friend, and closest friend that is of the opposite sex! While talking to her, she made me realize that Life is so much easier when you have friends/family that can relate to you and how true it is! We need to understand that we don't go through life alone. Yes, we may be more susceptible to things with God, rather than things from our earthly friends or family, but I know that family and friends fade with time. Yes, you'll always have family, and (hopefully) you'll always have companions and friends. Yet in time, and years pass we change, things change but Our God doesn't. He is the same YESTERDAY, TODAY and FOREVER! 

This verse in scripture should be the most comforting passage EVER:

"I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU,"  so that we confidently say, "THE LORD IS MY HELPER, I WILL NOT BE AFRAID. WHAT WILL MAN DO TO ME?" Hebrews 13:5-6

I know that it has already comforted me, tonight! I know that my God will Never, not be by my side! He will be with me forever! I said it, FOREVER! Remind yourself of that!  I love the ending, I could picture who said this laughing, "What can man do to me?" The answer... NOTHING! Because if our God is for us than who can stand against us! (Ah I got goosebumps)!

Life for me has been full of hurt, I never had a father who set out to protect me! His version of protection was 400 dollars every two weeks, and graciously placing me on his insurance! Well as much as I hated the fact that I had an absence of a positive male role model, it has taught me so much in life! The way my father is, is a way I don't want to live, not because he is a bad guy! But because I want to be someone who is there for their son, someone who knows the Lord! Someone who as they get older puts all of his TRUST in God, my only Father! 

For me the lack of a Christian father, or lack of father in general, made life so hard on me! Not knowing the answers to certain things, especially through bodily changes, and new sexual desires arose! How could a 13 year old boy talk to His mom about an addiction to pornography, (that still lingers in the shadows 8 years later) or talk to his mom when questions of sexual desires were now found in women! Well, since then I have never found anyone to talk to about these issues, about my skeletons, about the man I really was! Well the person that I needed to talk to the MOST was there all along, and no it wasn't my mother. It was God! He could have answered my questions, He could have removed addictions. He could have made my Freshman and Sophomore years in college actually worthwhile! But No! I thought I could handle my addictions on my own, trying to defeat the demons of certain things were easier than the others I was fighting! A demon that got its foot in the door even before 13 was one of sexual preference (wow I can't believe I'm sharing this), I struggled with all sorts of feelings, was I attracted to males or females? Well fortunately for myself those feelings left faster than they came when I got my first girlfriend in 5th grade (correct me if I'm wrong Tam). 

Well I then knew for a fact that I was into girls when I got to college, when I felt that I could get with any girl I wanted too. Not caring about their feelings, only that my desires/urges were met! Sexually satisfied, absolutely! Everything else was empty, lack of emotion and feeling! Well freshman year, it took an important friend, who I lost contact with (recently as of this year, got back to talking, I blame SGA)! to smack me upside the head, and make me realize what I was doing! (Thanks Meg)! 

Then Sophomore year, oh sophomore year! Nothing good came out of that year, except for I had relations with girls in moderation! Once again a smack upside the head was in due, except it came in a different form, it came in the form of Spring Revival! Ah, revival, everyone gets that 2 week high of God, they can move mountains, they think they can save the world! Well wrong, I came to revival absolutely broken! and left broken! But I was broken in a good way, I was broken but in the road to healing! 

Junior year came, and this being weeks after I got back from Summer Min, I fell right back into a temptation twice before the second week of school! Well by this point I knew something had to change, I wasn't that same guy, that chose women to deal with hurt! I was a new man, founded in something more powerful than the sensation of any orgasm or quickee! I was founded in Christ, I then had a great woman come into my life, Jenna! Jenna was perfect, there was and still is nothing wrong with that girl. She saved me from a destructive path, she showed me Grace multiple times. 

Senior year comes knocking on the door! and so does something else a break up, that took me by storm, and utter surprise! Things that were going good I thought, actually were not so hot! That good Christian guy I was becoming started to leave, once more I resorted to females to fix my hurt! Well that lasted only a short time! I knew that I could not, not, not let myself get caught up in sex, women anymore! It Needed to End, and End NOW! 

Now this is where I am, still broken, still hurting, but TRUSTING in my God, to take it all away! I'm learning to be VULNERABLE to His Spirit, to allow it to work In and Through me! To not Lean on My Own Understanding! But Trust in Him for He will make crooked paths straight! For me my vulnerability comes in my childlike faith, I am vulnerable to the world, and all its hurtful, sinful nature, but my Lord is there to protect me, to guide me and direct my life in and down paths of His choice. That was my New Years resolution to TRUST Him, lets do this together... Lets Trust!

God thank for giving me the courage and strength to write this (now just give me the courage to publish it!) For all those that read this please know that Our God can do anything, He can heal diseases, cure the blind and deaf, make cripples walk, feed thousands with little, and most importantly take away Demons that try to ruin our lives, by deceit and temptation. I will not lie or cover up the truth, I am and I am sure will struggle with pornography, but I know that by the Grace of God, that He can cure this disease, this addiction! He has GREAT plans for you and I'm excited to hear or if I'm fortunate enough to see them! I know He has plans for me, Great plans! But I have to let Him work, not try and work for Him, which reminds me of a song "What This World Needs" by Casting Crowns. Take note to what the VULNERABLE CHILDREN have to say!  

What this world needs
Is not another one hit wonder with an axe to grind,
Another two bit politician peddlin` lies,
Another three ring circus society.
What this world needs
Is not another sign wavin` super saint that's better than you,
Another ear pleasin` candy man afraid of the truth,
Another prophet in an Armani suit.
What this world needs
Is a Savior who will rescue,
A Spirit who will lead,
A Father who will love them in their time of need.
A Savior who will rescue,
A Spirit who will lead,
A Father who will love,
That's what this world needs.
What this world needs
Is for us to care more about the inside than the outside.
Have we become so blind that we can't see?
God's gotta change her heart before He changes her shirt.
What this world needs
Is for us to stop hiding behind our relevance.
Blendin` in so well that people can't see the difference
And it's the difference that sets the world free.
(Spoken)
People aren't confused by the gospel,
They're confused by us.
Jesus is the only way to God,
But we are not the only way to Jesus.
This world doesn't need
My tie, my hoodie,
My denomination, or my translation of the Bible,
They just need Jesus.
We can be passionate about what we believe,
But we can't strap ourselves to the gospels.
Because we're slowing it down
Jesus is going to save the world,
But maybe the best thing we can do
Is just get out of the way.

What this world needs
Is a Savior who will rescue,
A Spirit who will lead,
A Father who will love them in their time of need.
A Savior who will rescue,
A Spirit who will lead,
A Father who will love,
That's what this world needs.
Jesus is our Savior,
That's what this world needs
Father's arms around you,
That's what this world needs
That's what this world needs

OK sorry for the length but I really wanted to be Open, Vulnerable and Sheepish for you all! Please feel free to leave comments even those people who read I don't know! I'd really appreciate your encouragement, love and support! 

Thank You and until next time Its  JUST ME AND MY GOD!!!